Adrien

The Hell You Say by the sweet smarty pants Josh Lanyon (actually a very nice guy and he gets bonus points for putting up with me. Ok, not really. If he'd been a prick I'd still say buy this book) is this weeks You Gotta Read This push. Seriously. And folks, this isn't going to be any kind of literary review. It's going to be, er, a lisabea special. Order up!

The voice on the phone rasped, "Bones of anger, bones of dust, full of fury, revenge is just. I scatter these bones, these bones of rage, enemy mine, I bring you pain. Torment, fire, death the toll, with this hex I curse your soul. So mote it be."

I handed the receiver to Angus, who was facing out the "We Recommend" stand by the counter. "It's for you."

You know that feeling when you meet a character and you think: BFF? Here he is. Adrien English. The king of the pithy retort, kind yet ever the eye rolling champ, maintainer of outward calm (sort of) while his inner dialog is hilarious, smart, self effacing, strong, bewitching, and sometimes astonishingly sad and brave. He is deep in his head and you are right there, along for the ride. An amatuer sleuth, a book store owner (yes!) and a writer of mystery novels. OH, and he likes pirates.....I knew we were meant to be when it was revealed that he stocks his freezer with Lean Cuisine and his fridge with TAB. Too good to be true? Duh. Ok. Yes. I am in love. Again. SHUT UP! Adrien English is my kicky, fun, wickedly sharp new friend.

A friend who has a small problem. See, Adrien habitually stumbles upon dead bodies and endlessly fucks up (well, involves himself in) murder investigations led by his (sshhh don't tell any one I'm your hot homosexual not gay) boyfriend. Adrien manages to get himself smack dab in the thick of things in an uncanny and yet believable way. Naturally, he is unwilling, er, unable to extricate himself from the sitch. Who am I to judge his hobby?

So enough goofing off. Let me tell you about The Hell You Say.

It's almost Christmas and Adrien, slaving away in his book shop(pe), has been receiving bizarre phone calls, aimed at his young shop helper, Angus. He, employer of the year, urges Angus to take off until these losers tone down their violent threats and gives him $800 to disappear. Rut roh. Of course, this finds Adrien, mystery writer extraordinaire (and damned decent guy) bulls-eyed in not only another murder investigation, but as the victim of harassment by a bizarre host of grim, poorly dressed, occult fiends. Woooooo-woooooooo. From Adrien's perspective, it's hilarious.

A pause followed my greeting. Then, "We're watching you." whispered the voice on the end.

"Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys?"

Silence. Then dial tone.

These younger demons. So easily discouraged.

Meanwhile, Adrien and Jake (after two books) have finally established a scheduled relationship (Mondays and Wednesdays) and while neither have admitted deep feelings for the other, theirs is a tight lipped, emotional pairing, upstaged by Jake's inability to deal with his sexuality Well, not only his. Jake's sneering contempt for out gay men is unsettling and hurtful and deeply rooted. He's one repressed, sexy as hell, copper. Who is motivated by his terror that his secret will be discovered. Oh. And he has a girlfriend. sigh. (The things we put up with. Don't get all girly and judgy on me now. That dude is some kind of messed up. This is out of the realm of our experience, me thinks, but I'm in for this.) Jake is tender, if reserved, and his stiff, awkward attempts to be Adrien's boyfriend are beautifully juxtaposed by his mad love making and post coital skilz.

Held hot and wet in Jake's powerful arms and never wanting to move again while pleasure echoed through me.

"I couldn't stop thinking about this all day. " His voice was rough on the admission. "Feels so fucking good with you."

I nodded, managed, "It is good." In fact, sometimes it surprised me how good it was with Jake, given his various hang-ups and extracurricular interests.

He kissed the back of my neck, and I felt my heart turn over. The sex was great, but it was those moments of quiet tenderness.....

OK. Are you thinking: CHEATER! BAD!? I ask you to put all your preconceived notions aside. This isn't an easy situation and, I feel, there is a heavy dose of real world experience involved here. Adjust your settings, please, and allow Jake and Adrien the time and space they require to figure this thing out. We have some load of shit to wade through to get there.

There were things I might have said. maybe even things I should have said. But I knew they wouldn't change the outcome and I wasn't sure I could say them and keep control of my voice and face. Right now, keeping control in front of him seemed like the paramount thing.

...

He seemed reluctant to drop this tangent. "It's got nothing to do with the way I feel about you," he added, as though I were making an argument.

But, after all, that was a stupid comment. I surprised myself by giving a sort of ironic laugh and saying ,"Whatever."

"Whatever?"

His eyes were so dark they looked black. I realized that he wanted to get angry, that anger would make it easier, and I didn't want to make it easier. He didn't deserve to have it made easy.

So I met his gaze. Asked quietly, "What do you want me to say, Jake?"

His face worked. His jaw clenched so hard, my own hurt watching. He shook his head fiercely.

"Good-bye," I said.

It's beautiful. And this isn't even the end. There is more. Much more in the book, but I can't let that particular gremlin out. I couldn't put this book down. I loved Josh's willingness to break us in order to drive home how wretched the relationship between Adrien and Jake is. How deep that conflict is and how often love does not conquer all. We know that Jake is going to break his already damaged heart. And he has to or they are never, ever going to have a chance later.

Josh Lanyon pulls you in from page one with a fast paced sleuthing adventure, wonderful characters, zippy dialog, brutal longing and sword through the heart devastation. Adrien gracelessly steps from ugly situation, to uglier relationship realities. He saves the day, predictably, but there is no prince charming to carry him off into the sunset. He is alone in a crowd, drink in hand on Christmas at the close of the book. It's solitary and leaves you trembling.

I know what you're thinking. It's a mystery series, for crying out loud. It's told from first person (ask yourself, will you, how hot that sex has gotta be? Cuz it is all that.) You only like romances (patently untrue, sometimes). There's no HEA, lisabea!!! How can you recommend this? Well. Tough titties. We all like Sookie and Stephanie Plum and they never get their HEA. Heck, they hardly ever get laid! Besides, I am beyond hooked. OK, these aren't your traditional m/m lets lube and get it on erotic romances, I mean, Christ, LOOK at the COVER! If I didn't know how fucking good these were, I would not have, in my shallow little world, bought them. (S'rsly. We need to talk. ) But they are romantic. And the fact that I am at the end, waiting for Jake's return, is evidence enough for me.

Anyway. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. You may buy it in print, here.

A. Fuckin-ay.