ManLove Monday: TeddyPig and I Goof Off

(As ever, I am in blue, which totally works out cuz I color coordinate with the cover of this book!)

Hey everybody it's ManLove Monday and today we have a special event for you. A Dueling Drag Show!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!
*crickets* Yeah, I know. Drag is so so so over. It is? DAMN. IT. Hey WAIT a SECOND I'm not a dude! (Although, once I get that pen name….)

OK, how about a stupid (I object to the use of the word "stupid". I think "clever" or "scintillating"; "riveting" or even "majestic" would be a better choice) dueling book review of Josh Lanyon's new I Spy Something Bloody? YAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!

OK before the blood bath begins let's tell 'em a little about this new book. Mark Hardwicke (snort) is a man on the Midnight Express. Seems he just watched his operative fuck buddy Barry (the disposable) Bi-guy die while escaping from an Afghan prison deep in the heart of some place called the Middle East or maybe it was Texas. I don't know where Josh got the idea for this from but hey, let's go with it. Barry Bi-guy. ::lb adds new pen name to list:: Sorry? Carry on!

So Mark is sorta AWOL in a (I'm gonna have a mental breakdown any minute now) way and nothing says "I Love You" like a collect call in the middle of the night. Who does our ET phone home to? That would be Safe House Stephen (and he's a doctor!). Yep, but it seems Stephen gave Markie Mark (omg…That's the working title of my fucking wip, Teddypig. Damn. It. All. To. Hell.) the old heave ho at least 2 years ago. So why is "I'm So Bloody" Mark cold-calling (The man who moved on) Stephen? This of course brings out all Stephen's and the reader's distrust to the fore but 50 year old Stephen lets him show up on his front door for shits and giggles anyway.

LBea: OK HOLD THE PHONE there piggie! I'd like to take this moment to say that I heart that Stephen is 50 and silvery and still buff and lean and hung and is settled and has a nice house in the country with fine carpets and fancy knick knacks and dream of dreams: domestic help that cooks!!!! Plus, he has silver hair (I said that?) and long fingers…mmmm…and that Mark is 29. Squick if you like but this is FUCKING HAWTNESS on a Virginia Country Fried Chicken Steak Sandwich. MMMMMmmmmm gooooooodddd. With gravy. And yay for Josh for taking that one on, you dirty thing.

Ok what?

TPig's: The setup is fine; in fact it is excellent. I really did believe that Mark was the type of person who would lead a life like this. Mark's POV, which sold the whole story, was refreshing in being so complex: going from self delusions about Stephen; to understanding the reality of the situation he left; to actively trying to control outcome. Well done!

LBea: I concur, das bearpork. You know, Josh is really in his element here, writing from first person pov about a character who is flawed both physically and emotionally. I found this character devastatingly real. His pain was palpable and I think Josh delivers a wonderful set up and a fantastic internal dialog...although I'm pretty certain that Stephen smells like mint. Cuz Mark thinks about that mint a lot. Which is better than antiseptic. Also, I'm thrown by how many Dicken's lines this guy has floatin' round in his head. But I can't remember the words to Happy Birthday so I'm always shocked by people who remember WORDS. Anyway, this guy Mark is in pain and screwed up and I LOVE HIM. It's true. (ps also he's got that whole detachable penis vibe going on that we discussed 'while back).

TPig: But you know me... yeah, I then have to look at the internal or emotional logic. Emotionally for me this story started out all over the place from the beginning. First Mark's angst and then Mark's disappointment and then Mark's remorse that in itself was fine but I kept looking for how Josh was gonna dig himself out of that dark dark hole and make this romantic since Stephen did not seem to be helping at all here.

LBea: Oh Stephen wants him! You know it...I knew it from the word GO..oh and he strokes Mark's manhood hair...but he's so stand up and hurt and Virginian (DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO CORRECT ME ON THIS) he's got that lame ass boyfriend (grhh. Don't you love the doodie he throws at us, though??? Wicked good conflict.) …sorry…yes?

TPig: That is where, I think, this did not really work for me. Eventually, towards the closing, there is an early morning sex scene (The only sex scene in the whole dang book!) which was fine and Josh hedges his bets well when he has them both admit between the characters that it meant nothing but sex. But I feel emotionally he did put a lot of emphasis on it and that did not ring true to me.

Men (in my opinion of being one) are very very protective (very) after feeling betrayed and Stephen's initial actions of total distrust of Mark and the whole "hands off buddy" reflected this extremely well. But the big leap the story tries to make to "I Love You" and more incredibly "I Trust You", which can be two separate things ya know, well it just seemed too pat.

LBea: Can I say this sailed right past me because I was so caught up in Mark deciding that he had nothing to lose, so he lays it all out there. Just heroically takes the plunge and tells Stephen exactly how he feels about the mistakes he made (which is HUGE because the set up is that while Mark may be an extremely well read killing machine, he's not particularly talkative or forthcoming)…and then he gets BURNED. Oh most excellent Mr. Laynon! That douchie boyfriend of Stephen's, what a WANK, goes crying off to Stephen. And Mark, clearly never a victim, says: OK Here's the deal. BLAP. That's the how and why and well, I'm getting out and moving on. But I love you and I'm willing to make this thing work (uh. Total paraphrase). The thing that struck me was that Stephen was settling on this "Queen". He did not love that guy. I doubt he very much liked him. BLECH

“I don’t need you to be civil. I just need you to tell me exactly what your plans are.”


It was a simple enough question but it felt as though someone had unplugged me from the mains. I could feel the life and energy draining away. Some of it must have shown in my face, because his brows drew together. When he spoke again, his tone was quite different. “Mark, what the hell has happened? It’s obvious something has.”


I shook my head. “It’s nothing. I’m…burnt out, is all. Need a holiday. A rest cure.” I smiled. “I already feel loads better. You noticed yourself.”


To my surprise, he pulled out a chair and sat down cattycorner from me -- close enough that our knees brushed. “You said you were in trouble on the phone. What kind of trouble?”

It wasn’t fair. He was close enough to pull into my arms. I could see the reluctant concern on his face, the kindness there -- despite his desire and intention to remain detached. And I was desperate enough to take kindness tonight -- if it came from Stephen. I was acutely aware of the way his hair curled over the back of his collar, of the broadmuscular shoulders and smooth chest beneath the tailored shirt, of the scent of faded aftershave and mint which on him was peculiarly erotic.


I swallowed down my yearning, my loneliness -- and surprised myself by telling the truth. “I’m…not ready to talk about it yet. Can’t. Not even to you. Is that all right?”


His face changed, and fleetingly there was something there that made my own heart light with hope. “Of course it’s all right.”


“Thank you.” And there was no doubt I meant it. Embarrassing.


He nodded, squeezed the knee of my good leg, and rose.

Dude delivers, again.

TPig: Why was Stephen not livid that Mark had basically brought the Middle East war into his home putting Stephen's life at risk? Why was Stephen suddenly so supportive of Mark after Josh sold us on the fact that Stephen had emotionally moved on? No matter what the cook told Mark there did not seem to me to be a lot of signs that Stephen actually felt that way. Where was any of the signs that Stephen could trust Mark again when Mark kept showing his worst and basically hiding facts from Stephen? And the big question that was not really addressed at all... how could Stephen so suddenly change his feelings about Bryce whom he had obviously been dating a while?

LBea: OH CONTRAIRE! His feelings didn't change! He was always in love with Mark (I think) and Stephen the upright and well hung was using Bryce/Brent as a stepping stool (stone?) to get over Mark. The turnaround was quickish…but violence is a catalyst for change. OOOhhh did you ever see Almost Famous? And the plane is going down? And they all start to admit their true feelings? Ok so that's the deal here. Yes?

TPig: I just think in my experience guys are generally insensitive lugs to the small things emotionally sort of like hard headed elephants being bitten by mosquitoes but once they get noticeably hurt or betrayed like Stephen does they don't forget and most likely don't forgive. I wanted to be sold not only on bad boy Mark's emotional change, which I bought, but then you have to account for Stephen's emotional arc in the story and that did not work for me.

LBea: That's cool. I can dig it.

And the POV may be the case, TP…that this is all from what Mark knows and understands. We can't tell what the hell Stephen is really thinking, only watch his actions through Mark's eyes. And the build up to these emotional reveals is just beautiful. Devastating. Every step forward, every look back, brings Mark closer to that break down…and to that decision to lay it all out and to come clean (so to speak). Emotionally this book really worked for me…But…omg. The entire book is a slow climactic journey built brilliantly as ever by Josh (although all that Dicken's stuff turns to blah blah for me) to an end resolution of FUZZNUCKING that I … I … I looked! Maybe the pages were stuck together and I couldn't pull them apart??? It was so minimal!! I…I…sob…I thought for sure there would be this banging big coming home to each other, you know? I wanted them to DOOOOOOO EEEEEEETTTTT! Dang it.

TPig: Go on now, go walk on out that door

just turn around now

'cause you're not welcome anymore

weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

you think I'd crumble

you think I'd lay down and die...

Oh! Um... Yeah, I soooo agree, no final sex scene to sum up all the changes that took place. Not even a frigging conversation to maybe give us a rundown of how Stephen so suddenly changed his mind. Not even one mention of how he crushed (super disposable) Bryce (the place holder's) heart.

The story needed more dirty nasty bumpa humpa sex I think to cover up all the real victims... The poor guys wearing the Star Trek patented Red Shirt; Poor Bi-guy Barry. Poor Queeny Weeny Bryce. We shall weep for you and your (beginning with a B name) disposableness.

LBea: It did need a big ole love fest of man-groping… I mean all those gorgeous memories of the fingers trailing through hair! The brush of the nipple! The straining man poll! He really developed this tension. I WAS TENSE.

So to wrap it up; TPig & LBea both agree Mark was a complex and well written character showing Josh's mad skillz as a writer are only getting better: so two big dicks up! (what??? I don't have a dick! But I do have a thumb.)

On the other hand, while LBea loved Stephen and his ancient stuck up Virginia doctor ass, TPig thinks Stephen failed to express his inner fickle cold heart as he left Queeny Bryce to go hang himself in a moment of suicidal weeniness.

TPig & LBea also agree this story just plain needed more Josh gettin it on nasty sex scenes but we still give I Spy Something Bloody two solid thumb/dicks up.

Heh.

Ok this book is available in e-book format, I highly recommend it cuz, damn Josh can write, and it will be out in print over at MLR Press (me so like that press).

PS: Next week a review of Evangeline Anderson's The Assignment. OR something else!