First and foremost--Happy Memorial Day. This is a special day for both TPig and I as he served in the Navy, and just about every male in my family (ever) served in some branch of the military. On with the show.
Naval Maneuvers by John Simpson
Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were
* Teddypig sobs... Like you need me to tell you who sang that!*
I stepped onto the quarterdeck of the U.S.S. Casey Donovan (CG69), one of the Navy’s newest Ticonderoga Class Guided Missile Cruisers. “Seaman Alex Bender. Reporting for duty, sir.”
The ensign on deck duty took my orders, quickly looked them over to make sure they were legitimate, and told the bosun’s mate to take me to the captain to report in. I was in awe of my first shipboard assignment, being straight out of basic training from Great Lakes, Illinois. ~ Page 2
TPIG: WOW! When I started reading this I just knew I had to make my good friend LBea ::waves:: read along with me. It's like sharing a hunk of my life here. I graduated from that same boot camp and I ended up going straight to Groton CT (aka Rotten Groton--I grew up right near there...) for sub school and then they carted my ass to my first boat in Charleston SC. But I totally got where this book was going and I wanted to share the ride with someone else to see if they liked it too.
LBEA: Eep. Still I'm touched that you wanted to share it with me. Aw. ::pat pat::
TPIG: John Simpson does not let me down. He was there man, and you can tell by all the things Alex Bender learns and experiences in this book. This is an unexplored type of porn for men. The "when I was young (and hung) and in the Navy" type of porn. Make that "when I was young, gay and in the Navy". So John hits it right the fuck on the nose from the beginning.
LBEA: Sort of. Because I found he completely lost the forest for the trees. The writing seemed as stiff and regimented as the Navy. From page one I really got a Sticky Pen feel to this story.
I was eighteen with short blond hair and blue eyes, a twenty-nine-inch waist, a solid six feet tall, 170 pounds, and in top physical condition thanks to basic training. ~ Page 2
He simply needs to say how long and wide his man bits are and, for real, this is rather like free porn. Not that I read that. Or anything.
TPIG: Heh! Next thing you know Alex meets a cute naked butt...
He noticed me looking and said, “Hey, you new around here?”
“Yeah, sure am. Just got on board the ship today.”
“Well, then I’ll give ya a break and give you a piece of advice. Don’t stare at the other guys when we happen to be naked; either here or at the berthing compartment. ’Cause if you do stare, it either means you wanna suck the guy’s cock, take it up the ass, or you’re looking for a fight. You don’t look mean enough or big enough body-wise to be looking for a fight, so one would conclude you were looking for a stiff dick. Get me?”
“Oh, why, yes. I’m sorry; I was just looking at your tattoo, actually.”
“My tattoo is on my shoulder, not between my legs where you were looking. Is that what you like? Another man’s cock?” He wasn’t smiling ~ Page 10
TPIG: Now hold on there a second! Alex went to my boot camp Great Mistakes. I remember the heads (bathrooms) there. It was like the ones in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket. The damn showers were these cavernous white tile numbers with absolutely no curtains and just some benches. When you showered with the unit you were right there next to some twenty other naked dudes trying to do the same thing. So are you telling me that Alex has not learned to keep his eyes in his head yet? I mean it makes for a cute scene and all that but I get the feeling John is going for hyper realistic here.
LBEA: Well the dialog alone should tell you that he's not going for hyper realistic. Just kidding! OMG TPig...I'm always Debbie Downer! I totally don't 'get' the Navy thing because-- as important as setting should be to any story-- this comes across as mechanical and heavy handed and I...got...bored. Sorry! It's a sex story on a boat. Ship. Excuse me.
TPIG: No Lbea, you are the least downer person I know. That is why I wanted you to read this with me. It is something I would have a blinding bias reading so you are keeping my responses honest and in perspective. You know how excited I get about something new and different.
LBEA: I know!
TPIG: Anyway, the story continues and I suddenly get shown how freaking boring standing watch on the bridge really is (I'll say). What is mind blowing to me is how openly gay John makes all Alex's shipmates. I mean that was not my take on Navy life at all. It came across in my memory as a whole bunch of shades of grey. Most of the older guys I thought were hot were married with kids and in hiding. So I never touch em. The younger guys and I mean WAY younger guys here were these confused half straight/half gay "not figured it all out yet" types. Not my thing at all. Now I did meet some brazen folks but honestly they were married with kids and rubbing up against my ass every time they could.
LBEA: That would make for a good story, actually.
TPIG: Or a sexual harassment lawsuit. You know sometimes I think the "straight" guys do not want to drop the "don't ask, don't tell" stuff because it would fuck up their playground if they have to acknowledge some of this military manly booo-yah crap for what it is. A sexual turn on.
LBEA: My point was that this story lacked a real plot, and that without a real external/internal conflict to speak of...it was navy talk and dick talk, and neither dinging my bell.
TPIG: John sorta missed on some things I thought would make the story more believable. He makes a big deal about the head (showers) and racks (berthing) being communal and clothes free. That was not the problem for me as an older gay man in those situations. It was the fucking lack of any space anywhere. At any time on board if some shipmate came walking through we would end up brushing against each other. Just because there was a lack of places to get out of the fucking way. So half the time no matter how straight you wanted to act you were physically up against some guys ass or crotch. "Nut to butt" they called it. I was mega paranoid and never took advantage of the situation or found it very sexual but let me tell you the supposedly "straight married" shipmates sure the hell did. Talk about ass grabbing! DAMN!
LBEA: Yes. Excellent point. It's those little details of romantic tension that were missing for this reader. Not the Nut-to-Butt talk, per se, but the unintentional touches and the slow dance of romance were absent. So it's... dry.
He kissed me on the stomach and went into the bathroom where he took a shower and brushed his teeth. I also brushed my teeth and we crawled back into bed pleasantly sated. I put my head on his chest and whispered, “That was incredible. Thank you.”
He answered by running his hand over my head and kissing me. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. We slept well and didn’t wake up until a little after 1000 hours. We got up, slipped our shorts on, and ordered coffee from room service along with orange juice. I put the television on so that we could see CNN and keep a check on anything developing in the world. ~ Page 62
TPIG: Yep that's like reading a log book right there.
TPIG: So I love John Simpson's realistic approach to Military M/M Romance and hope he keeps giving us stories to read. He is doing something real here. I have spent time on the "fantail" and "torpedo alley" and the "rope locker" and even the "goat locker". Maybe cut a little back on the day to day "oh seven hundred" military scuttlebutt (talk or jargon) though. I think I lost LBea while reading through the book with some of that shit. What John really needs to work on falls under the Romance part of any M/M Romance.
LBEA: I was lost in the mechanics. It was too much information that didn't serve the larger story--although there was little enough of that as well. Sure the Navy speak gave us a glipse into the working life of the boat--ship---but it overwhelmed everything else. If this is an M/M romance, there are critical areas he needs to develop.
TPIG: I guess what drew me into this story was the feeling the writer was telling me a personal experience. (Yes! That's what I felt.) What kicked me out was when it started to sound like sexual fantasy. How Kurt confessed to being a BDSM top one moment and a Tantric sex expert the next.
LBEA~Jack of all trades...
TPIG: The interactions with the crew including the group sex scenes just came off as so much a Villiage People singing In The Navy MTV orgy fantasy sequence. I mean I understand the story needed character growth and obstacles and maybe sex but the ever present "We might get caught" paranoia and the fact they were cruising the Med would seem to me to make up a lot of that. By making most of the people Alex speaks to big gay queens having orgies every night... well it came off just surreal. Maybe some of that might go on in Aircraft Carriers the size of several football fields with spaces that have never seen the light of day but even on some mid-sized US surface vessel. NOT LIKELY!LBEA: Dialog, character development, conflict, resolution...so much was missing for me. It was a sticky pen story all grown up--but it wasn't romance. We need a reason to root for this main character, a reason to like and admire and cheer for him --we need to connect--and that didn't happen for me.
TPIG: Right LBea. John needs to work on the character development. Ease it into the story instead of bam they are having sex and then bam they are in love.
LBEA:( PS: also the orgy was dry.)
TPIG: I liked the new guy being taken under the older recruit's wing and how sexy that all can be. The story needed more space to grow though as much as all the information about Navy life needed to be eased into slower. I even fully agreed with the use of the HFN at the end. Because let's face it, when I was young, I even had a fast and furious several months romance with a fellow submariner at my first Fast Attack command in Charleston SC and that was over the minute he moved on to Boomers. So even that felt authentic to me. There is so much potential here.
LBEA: Well this is a great area for more stories then, they just need to be better executed.
TPIG: I totally agree. Contemporary military gay romance stories are so rare and John Simpson got some major details right in my opinion in giving that authentic feel and voice and he just needs to give us the romance.
K. So if you'd like to give it a whirl, you can check out this and other books at Dreamspinner Press.
PS~I'm still running my sweet give away. Prizes include: Josh Lanyon and Jordan Price Castillo's new Partners In Crime:The Art of Dying; Amber Green's One Good Turn; and the much coveted ***Mystery Prize***. Ooooh What could it BE?
20 comments:
Oooh, great review you guys! I didn't read this but it sounds very complex. I love that there is this level of realism about life on a ship in the navy (my dad was in the navy) aside from the sex.
Aww Village People Legos! I want.
I so love a man in uniform.
Hey LBea!
Men in uniform rock the house baby!
I love me some sailors in their dress blues. Getting them out of all those buttons on their pants feels like an accomplishment.
Probably like understanding the workings of a bra.
CCCJ~I didn't remember that your dad was in the navy. My dad was in the Army (paratrooper--though he wound up as an interpreter). You have so many names--we should do a post on that.
KB~Carefully what you wish for. Once upon a time, I longed for a pony. You saw how that turned out! ATTACK of the Ponies!
TPig~ You're so naughty. But, srsly, you'd think guys who could tie fishing flies or whatever could release a simple bra hook and eye. What's up with that?
Parts of the dialogue you quoted didn't especially sound realistic. "Don’t stare at the other guys when we happen to be naked..." Just a little stilted, yes? And I don't know that I've ever read such a dry afterglow scene. "Keepers" for me are those books that have vivid and memorable characters and lively scenes.
"Sailors and Sexual Identity" by Steve Zeeland is a very entertaining non-fiction book with stories from young men in the Navy. Nothing romantic about it, but it's definitely lively.
Oh lordy! Now there is a class act!
Steven Zeeland! I don't find him very factual either in those books.
In fact I find him down right creepy.
Basically all three or so of those books is all about this older guy Steven hanging around on or near some military base and hooking up with some really fresh faced young kid in the military and then Steven researches or interviews (or has sex) with all the kids military friends.
So you really do not hear from any gay men or women who are long term serious career military.
Just a bunch of young gay party hardy guys who are trying to figure out IF they want to stay in all 4 years or turn themselves in or conveniently get caught. blah blah blah
I came away from those books feeling like anyone reading them is only seeing a small rather smarmy exploitative side of the military.
Much like those internet sites that have young "straight" military guys jacking off for the camera.
Great review! I always enjoy your joint reviews.
My dad was in the Navy, too, on a troop transport, I think. We have these great b & w photos of him and his buddies. (He was in the Pacific during WWII.)
It seems like a tricky balance between realism and teh smexy.
Teddy Pig -- I trust you for a realistic perspective on things like what life in the Navy is really like. Zeeland's book was the one I thought of that related to the subject. I guess there's a lot of room for non-fiction books with better research methods.
Anyway, it's great to have you and Lisabea back for a collaborative review. Always fun to read.
Nah Emilie it's not your fault.
Those books are sold as sound well researched gay military interview books. You had to do a lot of thinking about "How would someone get these type of interviews?" and "What were the situations he met these guys?".
Only someone who was gay in the military and knew the type of guys that stayed in the barracks (young and recently recruited and penniless) would know that the people he constantly chose to interview sure sounded like "boozy one night stands" or "hooker" type situations... If you know what I mean.
It is not above the young guys to pick up an older dude and giving him his fantasy for some bucks. Seriously you are not going to meet the type of people who end up making the military their career that way.
Emilie~It was dry...and a bit too much of a laundry list. But it's always good to see a happy pig. I was delighted to share the memories with my buddy.
Lively, you say?
TPIG~::blink::
::blink::
Uh. I guess I should give those a skip as well? Unless I'm looking for a lively read? (because...sometimes lively can be entertaining).
Renee~I saw that tattoo picture and, while it has nothing to do with this story, I fell in love with it. It's so intimate. I could spend hours (do spend hours) searching for these b & W military photos. No words necessary.
Uh. I guess I should give those a skip as well? Unless I'm looking for a lively read? (because...sometimes lively can be entertaining).Oh they are a sad smarmy trip. I bought and read them all at once while in San Diego for some Navy stuff I had to do and the overall effect was "WOW! Intellectual porn".
Like reading overly justified erotica with footnotes and pictures by a dirty old man.
"My methodology has not changed: I befriended servicemen, sometimes in an intimate way, in part to win their trust so that I could ask them terribly personal questions, and in part just because I liked them. The interviews included here represent those Marines I learned the most from." - Steven "Sleaze On A Stick" Zeeland: The Masculine Marine
Well, it certainly led to a lively discussion. "Intellectual porn" is a fair description. I had seen examples before of what happens when you really get TP going. Somehow, I didn't think that I would ever do it. Apparently we've read a number of the same books on GLBT topics. I'm generally curious to know what other people thought of them. I've read some of John Preston's essays, for instance...
Wow... so from the pieces you included as examples, this sounds like something I would never get through. Very much a "so I woke up at __ and talked to __ then I did some stuff with __ then had some crazy wild sex and then saw..." uninteresting diary. with sex.
Thanks for the review! I like the idea of this type of m/m that includes this type of background *and* interesting characters, captivating plot, perhaps some intrigue (?)...
WV: dyspens. you may dyspens with this item from your TBR list today, thank you.
Not that I read that. Or anything.Ohhhh rly??? Free porn is the best kind. ;p
Getting them out of all those buttons on their pants feels like an accomplishment. If my ears could perk up any more, they would. :D
I think this sounds like it could be so good, but I am definitely one who needs that romance bit. I do like the sound of authentic military stuff though - this is the non fiction nerd inside speaking you understand. heh. :)
Could your mystery prize be Caek perhaps???
Emilie~That's exactly how TPig and I got to be friends--lively discussion. He's incredibly well read. Also-- he knows his coffee.
I need to read some intellectual porn. I've read plenty of intellectual erotica--and a lot of those 'banned books' (Joyce, Lawrence, and the like)...but IP? Hm. I don't think you're talking about the Story of O, right?
Whateverfor~LOL. That was funny. Heh. Dypens
But...yeah. It's a skip for me. And the excerpts I've read of other stories are very much in line with this book.
Sarah~Cake is playing here on Thursday and I cannot go. WAAAAAAH. Just. Wah.
I need to read some intellectual porn. I've read plenty of intellectual erotica--and a lot of those 'banned books' (Joyce, Lawrence, and the like)...but IP? Hm. I don't think you're talking about the Story of O, right?Nah, I wish!
All I can say is if Steven Zeeland had written those books about "women in the military" and framed them the exact same way by spending the first chapter generalizing about how big a sexual turn on they were in uniform and focusing only on them as sexual objects. Then followed that up with interview after interview of "women in the military" he hooked up with at bars who brought him back to the barracks etc etc.
Then turned around and said that he was seeking to provide a fact driven overview of ALL "women in the military" and their perceptions of the military life by doing this.
Well, I have a feeling that would piss a few people off right there.
THIS is why I adore you. You keep it real.You're spot on.
I do adore you.
Great review LB & TP. I have to say that from the small patches of excerpts that you posted I would find the story dry. But I do like the military gay scenario. :)
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